Phoenix
by mrsmcavoy23
Summary: Uptight. Spoiled. Unapproachable. All words most kids at forks high would use to describe Isabella Swan, but what they don't know is that she is fighting a battle everyday at home. She doesn't think she needs people. Isabella doesn't have friends, but maybe Edward Cullen will show her how nice it is to have one.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, coming at you guys with a new story. This will be a romance/friendship/hurt comfort story. It will get heavy sometimes, but I will always worn you. This new baby is something that just popped and stuck in my head. I'm excited to write about this Bella & Edward's journey. **

Phoenix

"Your serve, Isabella!", yells my complete-waste-of-space gym teacher.

"I have a note."

"Again?"

"Yes, my wrist are still very sore from those push-ups you forced us to do last week, and my doctor wants me to rest them."

She doesn't even ask to see the note. She doesn't even try to argue with me, because she knows there is no point.

"Okay well then I want you to walk a couple of laps around the track."

That's fine.

It's nice out today. Fall is only two days away, so we're finally getting rid of that dreadful humidity.

Isn't this what physical activity is all about? Fresh air, and pacing, and stress-relief?

Why don't people understand things?

* * *

"New Hair, Lauren? Very nice."

No it isn't. It's fried. There are some patches where the color didn't even seem to take. It's painful just to look at it.

I watch her eat it up.

You runs your hand down her face and twist a lock of her hair. She giggles. They make plans for this weekend. You'll take her to the movies Friday. Bed her Saturday. Not text her Sunday. And tell her you forgot on Monday, and then she'll join the orbit—the orbit of women that you fuck without consequence, and she won't mind. She'll eat it up.

Why don't people understand things?

Your chair squeaks as you take your seat next to me.

"Hello, Isabella" I'm not looking at you, but I can _hear_ the smirk in your voice.

"Did you finish the powerpoint?" I ask as I study my nails.

"Of course I did. How could I forget? You taped a note to my locker everyday last week."

"You're not reliable, I needed to make sure you got it done."

You lean towards me, putting your hand on the back of my chair, so that you're looking down at me. "why wouldn't you just message me?" "Because once I walk out of this building I don't want any communication with you."

You laugh, as usual.

"You are such a hard-ass Isabella Swan."

Edward Cullen: a handsome, foolish, whore.

Finally Mrs. Brason comes in, she tells us that we can volunteer to go up or that she can choose us randomly.

Everyone grumbles and shifts nervously, but I raise my hand and tell her that you and I will go.

You will get nothing in life if you sit around and wait for someone to make decisions for you.

Of course when we're presenting, I stick to the slides and you paraphrase, but it's not like anyone is even paying attention. Everyone else is just silently practicing what they're going to say so that they don't look like idiots when they come up here. I don't know why. What's to be nervous about? We have presentations every other week. Get used to it.

* * *

Walking to my car, someone catches my jacket. "Hey, I think we aced that."

"Of course we did. You can rest your brain. We don't have another presentation for a week." I joke.

"Yeah, about that, baseball conditioning is going to take most of my time, so we should probably try to stay ahead."

"We have the syllabus so we can definitely do that."

"Ok good, I just didn't want you to castrate me later, so I wanted to give you a heads-up." You say with a smile.

"I appreciate that." And really, I do.

"So it's Friday, you got any plans?" Why are you asking? You know I don't.

"I have a calc test on Monday."

"Please tell me you are joking?"

"If I'm going to get out of here, I need excellent grades."

You start off with rolling your eyes. "you're going to get into a good college, everyone knows that, but you know you're supposed to have like personal experiences, and all that shit to write essays about."

" 'all that shit'…okay. I'm going to write about how my English partner held me up from going grocery shopping, effectively throwing off my whole day. How about that?"

There's that laugh again.

"Alright, alright. I'll be seeing you."

"Yeah, okay."

While driving and even when I get to my grocery store I mentally reorganize Edward and I's schedule for our assignments.

It's a nice distraction, but when I get home and see Charlie huddled under the table, it's like cold ice water that brings me back.

* * *

 **What are you** **theories/predictions? Let me know. xoxo**


	2. So I Creep

"Isabella, Principal Banner want to see you in his office." My calc teacher says dryly.

I can't help but get nervous. Why would he need to see me? Was this about gym?

Shit. I don't really have a note. Did someone hit my car in the student parking lot?

Did something happen to Charlie? Fuck.

My shoes squeak on the floor as I speed walk to the office. I want to know and not know.

Mr Banner is pale and bald. He only wears blue shirts, and in my opinion, he keeps his nails longer than appropriate for a man.

The light reflects off of his head through the window as he gestures with his hand for me to have a seat.

"Hello, Isabella. Thank you for joining me."

I didn't have a choice.

"I heard today from the University of Washington. They have decided to extend a scholarship to you. "

He gives me the information and I smile, and all his words start to morph together. The truth is, that even with the scholarship, and the money I'm making from my website, I won't have enough to cover college expenses.

Forks community college is the next step- the next ugly, puke-green step.

By the time I make it back to calc, there's only five minutes left. I hate this class. But more credits here, means less struggle later, so I guess it's worth it.

When the bell rings I head to lit. I have five minutes. I have to use the bathroom, but I walk by it, if I don't get to class early then I can't get everything ready.

 **EPOV**

Isabella Swan is something else.

She sits at her desk and lays her stack of blank paper next to her folder. I guess she's going with the blue pen today, nice choice. Everything is in order and then she just sits there, for like two minutes she just sits there and waits. Her legs crossed and her back straight. It almost looks a little painful. Wouldn't it be painful to be so tight all the time?

After class I follow her out to the parking lot. It's always nice to walk behind her. People part like the red-sea.

As she's manually unlocking the door to her blue, Honda, I do my best to make conversation.

"You know those remotes just need a new battery, and then they work."

"I don't mind." She says curtly.

"Hey, Bella!" a familiar voice yells. Great...just what I need.

"Do you like my new jacket? I sewed the new patches on myself!" Alice Squeals.

Alice Cullen, my little sister, a freshman, and an overzealous Isabella Swan- Fashion fan girl.

Bella turns Alice around to admire the back of the jacket and the corner of her mouth turns up.

"Nice." Isabella comments.

And that's enough for my sister. She bounces away with an ear-splitting grin.

"I'm sorry about my sister she's—", but I don't get to finish because Isabella is quick to cut me off.

"I don't mind, honestly. That girl has a bright future; her designs are amazing."

And coming from you, that would mean a lot to Alice, because she's always going on and on about how well Isabella dresses.

"That's nice," I say as I rock back on my heels, trying to buy time.

"I wanted to let you know that there's a party this weekend."

She let's out a scoff.

"I'm telling everyone. My friend Jasper wants it to be huge."

'Let me get this straight, your friend is knowingly inviting as many people as possible to trash his house this weekend?" She asks, her face twisted in disgust.

"It's not like that. It's worth the mess."

"Right. Well, thank you for the invite, but no thank you."

She starts to get in the car, but hesitates, and I see her head pop back up over the roof.

"I think it's important that we are very clear about something," she says cooly.

"What?"

"we are partners, not friends," She states.

"The best partners are friends," I argue.

"Actually most friendships dissolve because of partnerships, as far as business is concerned." Such a fucking know-it-all.

"School isn't business."

"For me it is." she states.

"Well, that's why you need a break."

"Breaks are for the weak." she says confidently, as usual.

"No breaks make you weak," I reply.

This makes her bite her tongue. She sucks her cheeks in, and her brown eyes meet mine, blazing.

She hates that I'm kinda-right.

"This parking lot debate has been lovely, but I've got to head home now." She's making her escape, but I'll let her..this time.

"Alright Swan." And before I walk away I tap the top of the car, probably harder than I should because I hear her breaks squeak from her sudden stop. The passenger side window rolls down, and all it takes is one look to know I won't get away with that again. I just smile, and that makes it worse.

* * *

The party starts to get pretty boring after an hour. Lauren is drunk and passed out, with her feet in my lap. Jasper and some guys from the soccer team are pouring food dye into the pool, and a group of people in the basement are attempting to play naked-twister.

I settle for scrolling through my phone, I'm scrolling through my notifications, and go to like a picture that Alice posted, when I noticed something strange.

 _Isabella Swan likes this._

No way.

I click on her username and I see that her account is private. I debate sending a friend request, but I don't bother because I know she won't accept it.

Alice's sign in data is still saved on my phone, so I log into her account. She honestly won't mind, and I click on Isabella's profile.

I'm in.

 _Shit_

373 photos.

Where do I start?

* * *

I literally have to have my hand over my mouth. My elbow is on my desk and I alternate between drumming my fingers on my lips, and placing my hand over my mouth like I'm thinking deeply.

Isabella arrives. Today she wears a black jump-suit. She always looks good in shit that would look bad on everyone else. Of course her hair is still pulled up. Hair in that tight brown bun. Never fails.

She places a thick stack of index cards on my desk.

"I outlined our next presentation." she says.

 _I saw the records you bought this weekend. You fanned them out like a deck of cards for visual effect._

"I asked him about adding an interactive slide for extra credit and he said we could.' she goes on.

I smell coffee on her breath. _You like it iced, with blueberries too? I'm assuming that was also for picture purposes, because those blueberries would freeze._

"So just look these over, and add anything you see fit" She finishes.

 _That red jump suit you tried on Saturday in the mall looked sexy as fuck. You should've gotten it._

My knee bounces as I eagerly wait for the bell to ring.

"What is up with you?" she whispers, her pink lips settling into a hard line.

 _Pink lip gloss. Annie Winstont's new line._

"I'm just pumped for conditioning today." I lie.

When the bell finally rings, I race to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall.

Why does it feel like from just pictures, I know everything about her? I don't. I just know more than I should. I hate that the pictures and her captions are committed to memory. I hate that I saved my favorites to my phone.

I hate that I want her.

* * *

 **Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed this new chapter.**

 **This weeks question: Is Edward a creeper or just a crusher? These days, are they the same thing? Has anyone else been there?**

 **To everyone that reviewed: thank you for taking the time to do that, I really appreciate it. If you don't review, and you just like to read, that's fine too.**

 **All the love,**

 **-L**


	3. Alice

Monday arriving so quickly is both a blessing and a curse. I decide that today I'll curl my hair and wear my red ankle boots.

My hair is down past my shoulders, and I have to admit that the curls compliment my face, but I brush them out and wrap my hair into a bun. Before I head downstairs I double-check my purse for my makeup bag and school assignments.

I fix Charlie his cereal and when I place it in front of him, he tucks in without looking at me.

"How are you feeling, dad?"

"I'm alright. I'm trying to put together that new dining room set."

"That's nice, daddy. Nurse Sue is coming today."

"She comes 5 days a week, why do you think you need to remind me everyday?"

It takes a lot for me to bite my tongue, but I do.

I give him a tight smile, kiss him on the head and head out the door. I give the same smile to Sue as she makes her way up the driveway.

When I get to the garage I debate taking something more glamorous, but I can't help but settle for that blue Honda. It was Renee's.

I can't shake it.

* * *

The first half of the day flies, but when lunch comes, the day gets interesting. I'm sitting on my blanket, spreading out my food when I hear Lana Brown and her minions cackling.

"We don't have it! Chill the fuck out!" Lana yells.

"I left it on the sink! And when I came out it was gone. You guys were the only ones in there!" I look up when I hear that it's Alice. They're all standing in the middle of the courtyard, and everyone is watching. There's no doubt that Lana did this on purpose, she fucking loves humiliating people.

I'm up and moving before I know it.

I step between her and Alice. I click my tongue as I look her up and down. "Give it back and we won't have a problem."

Her clique moves to surround me, a pathetic army of the fools and fashionless.

"We don't have it." She snaps. I snatch her green bag and empty it. Sure enough there's Alice's binder. You can't miss it. The front filled with neon green velvet letters: **Alice's Designs.**

"You're an embarrassment, Lana."

Her face get red and her blue eyes go wide, like she's in disbelief that someone would actually stick it to her.

"You mess with Alice again and I will ruin you. Are we clear? I know all of your disgusting locker room confessions and I will air out all of that dirty laundry if you don't step off. Are we clear?"

"Fuck you, Swan."

"This is your first and last warning."

She scoffs and heads back inside.

Her group is flustered as they follow.

Alice looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes.

All of her makeup is smudged and her nose is red.

"Follow me."

I scoop up my blanket and make my way to my car.

I open the passenger door for her and have her face me over the console.

I fish out my makeup bag and get to work.

"Those bitches aren't worth ruining your makeup."

When I'm done she checks herself in the mirror and then gives me a toothy grin. She knows not to hug me, but she squeezes my hand.

"Here." I say, offering her one of my new lip glosses.

"No way, I can't!"

"This color looks way better on you. Take it. " She cradles it like a newborn baby and I check my watch.

"We better get going."

I walk Alice to her class, right before she disappears through the door I catch her jacket.

"You can eat with me from now on, if you'd like." I cut her off before she has a chance to squeal. "but I like quiet! So bring a book or something."

Alice squeezes me tight, and I don't really know what to do with my hands.

"I will be there! Thanks you so much, Izzy!"

Hopefully I won't regret this.

I take a deep breath, and use the walk to French to massage my temples.

* * *

The next day Alice surprises me by being relatively calm during lunch. She's sprawled out on her stomach next to me sketching and casting what she thinks are sly- glances towards Jasper Hale, who is across the courtyard.

Just when I'm about to start the next chapter, Cullen plops next to me on my blanket.

I can't do this.

I cannot handle more than one at once!

"What's up, Swan?" he smiles and then snatches my glasses. The cateye frames actually do compliment his cheekbones, but I'm quick to snatch them back.

He tugs on his sister's ponytail. "What's up, kid? You alright?" the news must have traveled.

Alice slaps Edward's hand away and throws him a smile. "I'm good. "

It's sweet. Watching them together and communicating in their special way.

Edward stretches and lays back and yawns dramatically. "I am so tired from baseball. Forgive me if I fall asleep."

"You aren't falling asleep here. Can't you let us ladies have a nice lunch without drooling all over our blanket?"

Alice giggles. "Edward doesn't drool. He snores."

"Hush, Alice! And what is that gunk on your lips?"

"Izzy gave it to me."

He rolls his eyes and shoots me a disapproving look. "Well, Izzy can have it back."

"No chance." Alice states.

"Honestly, Edward. You shouldn't try to dictate what you're sister wears, it's a little barbaric." I add.

"I'm getting out of here! See you later, _Izzy"_ I throw a pencil at him as he leaves, but he dodges it just in time, throwing me a smile before walking through the cafeteria doors.

"He's got another thing coming if he thinks he can call me that."

"Does it bother you that I do?" Alice asks nervously.

"No it's fine, but that'll just be our thing."

"Okay, our thing." Alice repeats with a smile, before returning to her sketches. She doesn't notice Jasper hasn't taken his eyes off of her since Edward left.

* * *

At the end of the day I see Edward waiting at my car.

He kicks the gravel and looks at me while he squeezes his worn, gray baseball hat in his hand. The veins standing out and making his hands look like those of a grown man.

"I wanted to thank you." He can see that I'm surprised and confused when my mouth pops open a little.

"Um..Alice has never had the easiest time in school, and no one has every really stood up for her…except for me."

He steps closer and looks down at me. His eyes are so, so green and so kind.

His hand squeezes my shoulder.

"Thank you, Isabella," he whispers, before heading back towards the school for practice.

That night, that spot on my shoulder feels kinda warm.

* * *

 **Is it just me, or does Edward being a protective older brother make him even more lovable?**

 **Thanks for reading guys, I'll see you soon!**


	4. Ducks

**BPOV**

"Honestly Alice, all of that junk will be the death of you. Try this."

Like a toddler, Alice leans away with a look of disgust, as if cucumbers are worse than those cheese puffs she's shoving into her face.

"No thanks!", she says, as she sucks the powder off of her fingers.

Gross.

She opens her sketchbook to two dress designs. "Which one do you like more: this one or this one?" she asks.

"I like the red one, but you know what would be really cool? If you had the sleeves crocheted."

Alice squeals…which I've kind of gotten used to. It's been a month since she's started eating with me, and for the most part it's been okay.

"That's a great idea! I don't know how to crochet though. I'll just look up a video. Do you think I can learn by Friday?"

"Absolutely, it's so easy. Are you entering a competition or something?"

"No…I have a date."

"Jasper asked you out? Finally."

Her smile falls.

"No. I told Jasper how I felt about him awhile ago, but he said he's too old for me, and he also knows that Edward probably wouldn't like it."

"Well he stares at you all the time."

"Maybe in another life, we're lovers, but it doesn't look like it's happening in this one. So I gotta move on. Which brings me back to my date!"

"Oh yeah, who are you going with?"

"Liam White."

"The soccer guy?"

"Yes! He plays JV soccer and he has really pretty brown eyes..and he's ripped, Izzy! I mean, one day his shirt rode up at a game and I about died."

"He's a junior Alice, so be careful. "

"Alright, mom! We are going to see a show in the city!"

"Wow."

"I know right. He said he knew he should pick something that I could get dressed up for."

"That's thoughtful."

"Yes it is, and another thing, please don't tell Edward! He would scare Liam away."

I don't answer, but she doesn't even notice because she's back to sketching with a huge smile.

* * *

Edward clicks his pen as he flips through his book. We're trying to find primary sources for this week's presentation. He didn't shave today and his nails have grease under them…probably from working on that death-trap motorcycle he drives to school sometimes.

I'm pulled away from my observations when he slaps his book closed." I think we're all set. I'll email you if I find anymore this weekend."

I close my book and start to pack my bag. "Oh, you have time to study this weekend? No crazy keggers?"

"Not this weekend, Swan. I'm trying to get ahead on my school work, because baseball is picking up." As we walk towards the door he tries to throw a crumpled paper into the trashcan and misses.

"Yes, clearly basketball isn't your game." He shoots me a glare as he picks up the paper.

"Quiet, Swan."

"Baseball is not even in season."

"It's conditioning." He says as he holds the library door open for me.

"Thank you. I do remember you saying that, but what's the point?"

"It makes us stronger and if I'm really good I can get a scholarship."

"Aren't you really well off?" It's out of my mouth before I realize it and he just gives me that half-smile.

"I'm gonna call you no-filter-Swan."

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me."

"No it's fine. We do okay. My mom does pretty well and she's been saving all our lives, but it's only enough for in-state tuition, and Alice wants to go to Fashion school in New York , so If I get a scholarship, my school money can go to her."

"That's very nice of you. You're always looking out for her."

"It's what brothers do." Half way to my car we start to feel raindrops.

"Shit! I drove my bike today."

 _Knew it_

"Do you need a ride home?"

"I'll just wait it out. I don't want to leave it here."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." Thunder roars and the rain picks up as he jogs back towards the school.

"Edward! This isn't going to let up anytime soon. Let me drive you home."

He looks defeated. "You're probably right. Thanks."

The ride to Edward's house is awkward to say the least. I not used to having a passenger, so I feel strange.

Is the air too warm and he's just not telling me?

Does my car smell weird?

He fidgets with the backpack in his lap and gives me directions to his house. When we pull up I'm mesmerized. It's a log cabin home, it seems like every possible light in the home is one, making it glow in the middle of nowhere..

It's perfect.

I see Alice's yellow buggy parked in the garage. She inherited it from her grandma. She can't drive yet, but she likes to sit in it with the radio on.

His grey sweatshirt is soaked and as he twist towards to me unbuckle his seat belt I see something I never noticed before. A brown birthmark. One the left side of his neck, shaped kind of like a duck. I guess because I sit to the right of him in class it never stood out to me.

That's neat.

"There's a duck on your neck."

He lets out a loud laugh "What are you talking about?!"

I gesture to his neck. "Your birthmark."

"Oh! That's makes more sense. Yeah, my mom has one just like it. Alice has one on the back of her knee."

"Crazy how science works. I mean, I don't really know the science behind birthmarks but.." _Dear me, please shut up._

"I think it's cool too. Proof that it was always meant to be just the three of us."

 _What do you mean by that?_

I want to ask, but I think asking about his finances means that I've lost personal question privileges for the day.

"Thank you, Isabella. I'll see you Monday."

I wait until he gets inside, and then back out of the driveway, stopping again to look at the house. I bet it's so warm in there, the warmth that a home can only have with a certain type of family.

* * *

 **Forewarning that what's going on with Charlie probably won't be explained for about 5 more chapters.**

 **So this Edward has a duck** **birthmark on his neck… Do any of you guys have interesting birthmarks?**

 **I'm working on posting a pic of Edward's house to my profile and a couple of other things that I thought would be cool visuals, so check that out :)**

 **I'll see you guys soon!**

 **xoxo**


	5. Wedges

It's 3am and Charlie is building something in the dining room. I can hear him working the drill and the hammer.

I debate going downstairs and telling him to quiet down but I know it's useless.

I decide I might as well check my email.

The light from my laptop brightens my entire room. I rest my chin on one hand and use the scroll pad with the other.

 _Junk_

 _Junk_

 _Oh, sale: favorite that._

 _Email from Renee…_ This should be interesting.

 _Dearest Isabella,_

 _I am emailing you from Toronto. I am here for a couple of days and then I will be moving on. I hope things are going well._

 _I know things haven't been easy with your father. Remember, meditation will free your mind from stress and sadness. I am sending so much love your way._

 _-Mom_

I open another tab to check my bank account, and sure enough her guilt payment is there.

I add a mall trip to my phone calendar for Friday.

I still have about three hours until I get up for school so I decide to go back to sleep.

* * *

Today is Sunny, so pretty much everyone is outside for lunch, which is great because I'll have the library to myself.

I get lost in highlighting and index cards when a coke is set in front of me on the table.

"Isn't this cool?" Edwards asks, before sitting down in the chair across from me.

"What is cool about a soda?"

He spins the bottle, so that I can see the other side of the label. Ah, My name.

"It's this thing they're doing, putting people's names on them. Kind of like key chains."

I roll the bottle between my hands. "Clever marketing tactic. Thank you."

He waves his hand "yeah, no problem."

"Although I do wonder…why are people excited over this?...I mean it's just your name on a wrapper."

He looks down at his watch and picks at the leather band. "I don't know. I just think it's fun."

I realized I'm doing that thing…that thing where I forget that not everyone can see everything.

I reach across the table and pat his hand, and his eyes come up to meet mine.

I never really looked at them, I guess. They're warm and bright, the color reminding me of the lily pads I used to admire in my grandmother's pond.

I look back down at my book and clear my throat. "Did you edit those index cards?"

He looks a little surprised at the change of subject, but catches on quick.

"They were good, maybe we should add a game or something. People seemed a little bored last time."'

I let out a dry laugh. "Edward, we got an excellent grade on our last presentation. If it doesn't need fixing, leave it be."

He reaches for my highlighter and flips it through his long fingers. "Okay, I'm pretty sure most people say 'if it ain't broke don't fix it', but I catch your drift."

I reach for my highlighter, but Edward grabs my wrist and puts the highlighter to my skin. Just swirling it. I watch as my pale skin becomes the home to orange spirals and doodles.

I really don't mind.

"How was the party?"

He lets my hand go and puts the cap back on the marker. "What party? "

"The one you invited me to. By the way, I appreciate the effort, but there's no point in you inviting me to those things. I'll never go."

"That's not fun! "

"Fun is for children."

He rolls his eyes. "You are a child! You're seventeen and you act like you're an old lady. Live a little!"

I know he's joking, but it still makes me mad. "Some of us have to grow up fast, Edward." I grab my books and speed walk out of the library. I hear his calls behind me, but I don't turn around.

In lit I'm looking straight ahead and copying down the board notes verbatim. Edward leans toward my desk and whispers "Look, I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't hurt my feelings. You just don't get that the same thing doesn't work for everyone."

He runs his hand through his hair.

"I just feel like it's important to have fun."

"Well I think it's important to get things done." I snap.

"It's possible to do both, you know?"

When it's clear to him that he won't get a response he sighs, leaning back in his chair.

* * *

That night I'm flipping through this month's schedule for Charlie when something stands out.

No.

There is no way that is next week.

How could that possibly be next week?

I unlock my phone and click on one of four of my contacts.

"Baby! How are you? I'm so glad you called."

"I'm doing well, and you?"

"I'm great! I'm went to Niagara Falls this morning. It was wonderful, Bella! We – "

I cut her off. "How many times have I told you not to call me that? "

"Honey, me and your dad always –"

"You don't get to call me that. Not anymore."

She's quiet for awhile. "I'm sorry, Isabella."

"Look, I'm calling because Sue is going on vacation for a week, and I need you to watch Charlie while I'm at school. She's leaving Friday."

"I'll be there. I promise."

"You need to be here by Thursday night so that we can go over everything." I say slowly.

"Okay. I will be."

"Don't let me down, Renee." I press the end button and make a list of things I need to catch her up on.

* * *

My mother isn't hard to spot when I pull up to the airport on Thursday. She's in a bright orange Maxi dress.

She has always traveled light, so her suitcase fits into the trunk easily. I don't bother helping. And then we're off. 45 minutes out and she's still blabbering about the falls. She runs her hands across the dash.

"I see you're driving blue betty."

That's not its name.

"Such a good car. It's hard to come by cars these good anymore."

"Well you've abandoned a daughter and a disabled husband, why not add a great car to the list?"

And finally, _finally_ she shuts up.

Sue is sitting at the kitchen table when Renee and I walk in.

Charlie is in the basement working on paper mache.

I sit and pass my notes around.

"I've typed up these notes for you, Renee. These are his changes in behavior and medicine. Sue, do you have anything to add?"

She sighs loudly. "I hate doing this, honey."

"Sue, you need this time to yourself and to spend with your family."

"I don't trust her." She points to Renee.

"She's only going to take care of him while I'm in school. I'll leave as late as I can in the morning and come back as early as I can after school."

Sue goes to the top of the basement stairs and calls Charlie up for dinner.

We all eat in silence. My mind won't stop racing.

"Why didn't anyone else eat peas?" Charlie asks.

Sue is quick to put some on her plate and passes the bowl to Renee and I.

"We are honey. Thank you for helping us remember," Sue says sweetly.

"I shouldn't have had to remind you." We all jump when he shakes the table, my water spilling onto my plate.

"You think I don't know?" He asks quietly.

"I feel myself getting weaker. I know you guys want me gone," he says

"No one is poisoning you, Charlie." I say quietly.

"Why should I believe you? Of course you all want me gone. What is this? A last family meal? Before you rid yourselves of your burden."

I beg. "Charlie. _Please_ just eat."

"Fine. No fucking peas, though."

* * *

Sue leaves after Charlie goes to bed, hugging me tight.

"Please have a good time, Sue."

I watch her until she drives away and then sit on the porch swing.

"Charlie is something else." Renee laughs.

"Charlie is schizophrenic, Renee."

"He just gets confused sometimes."

"You are so fucking delusional. You like to skip through life with a smile on your face instead of doing what's right."

"I'm here aren't I?"

I jump off the porch swing and slam both the front door and the door to my room.

* * *

I wake up the next day to the smell of burnt eggs.

I decide to wear my denim button down dress, with wedges. This won't be easy considering the gravel parking lot, but I really couldn't care less.

One the kitchen counter there's a plate covered with a paper towel.

She wrote a message: breakfast for my sunshine

I hear her giggle from the basement and Charlie's deep laugh.

I take the stairs slow in my wedges.

"Okay, Renee, the key is to move with your knees. You are so tiny, this won't be hard."

He's training her. She's wearing the uniform and everything. He's tied ropes to imitate barbed wire and he's having her army crawl. Today she's in 'Charlie's Army Prep Camp'.

"Alright I'm headed out, guys."

"Bye, Bella!" They say at the same time, making me freeze on the steps.

I shake my head and keep going.

Edward has parked his black mustang next to my usual spot, leaning against it, clearly waiting for me.

"I haven't seen you much this past week." He comments as I get out.

"Junior year keeps a girl busy."

He puts his hands deep into his khaki pockets. "I feel like you're avoiding me."

"Well I'm not."

"I don't think I said anything offensive."

Is he joking?

"You called me an old lady!"

"I said you act like one sometimes!"

"I am done with this conversation." He blocks my path as I try to go left, then right.

"Look, I joke. A lot. I wasn't saying it to be mean, I was just messing with you."

"Good to know."

"Look I get it. I haven't walked in your shoes." He points down "By the way, how are you planning on walking in those?"

"Skill."

"See!" he gestures both his hands towards me. "Your comebacks are always solid and you get that tone! That 'I'd rather be anywhere but here with you' tone, but I get it. I'm used to it and I like it. Maybe you could try to embrace my humor the way I embrace your sassiness?"

I do my best not to crack a smile.

"I suppose I could try to tolerate your annoying sense of humor."

"Wonderful! Let's go." he offers me his arm. "You'll most likely twist your ankle if you don't take it."

I roll my eyes and grab on.

"We have to take a slow pace." I remind him.

"Yes, your majesty." And he thinks I'm just talking about the walk, and I am, but maybe I'm talking about something else too.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Sorry if the update notification is a little weird. I posted another version of this chapter earlier, but then i stripped it and started again.**

 **I wrote** **this while listening to Simon and Garfunkel. I'm a new fan. I'm always up for a music or fanfic recommendation, so feel free to leave those in your reviews!**

 **Has anyone else gotten a coca-cola with their name on it? I thought it would be cute for our phoenix-edward to get his Bella one, but my real life experience with this wasn't so cute. All I will say is that it was like the Hunger Games!**

 **I'll see you guys soon.**

 **xoxo**

 **P.S to the reviewer that wrote about her birthmark: that story was adorable! Thanks for sharing :)**


	6. Fresh Air

"It's 75 degrees out here, why are you wearing a turtle neck?" I ask Alice.

"Because…of these!" Alice pulls down the neck of her shirt and what I see disgusts me.

 _Hickeys._

" Alice what are you thinking?! You've only known Liam for a couple of months."

"No Izzy, it's not like that. We are connected on like, a spiritual level. We don't just make out, we talk a lot too."

"Are you being safe?"

"We haven't done that yet." She says, looking embarrassed.

"If you can't even say the word, then maybe you're not ready…"

"Calm down Izzy, we haven't even gone passed second base."

What is second base?

"It just makes me a little nervous. High school guys can be terrible, Alice."

Alice just smiles, kind of like Edward.

"I knew you would say that, which is why I invited Liam to have lunch with us. "

"Well then his inability to be punctual is one strike."

"He's on his way. He had to buy his food."

I've almost finished painting all of my nails mint green when he finally sits down.

"Hi, I'm Liam. You're Isabella right?" he grins.

"Yes."

He raises his eyebrows when he hears my curt tone.

"It's nice to meet you."

"You as well. Where's your lunch?"

"What?"

"I thought you were in line?"

He looks down to his and Alice's clasped hands. "Oh! It was so long I decided to ditch it."

Interesting.

Alice is leaned into his chest, silently mouthing for me to be nice.

So I try, but Liam is a fool.

I do my best to see what Alice sees, but the conversation isn't stimulating. I don't even get what she likes physically. He's too big. He's not lean, and his shoulders aren't broad enough. His hands don't have those pulsing veins. His eyes are boring. He's just not my type, I guess.

"You know you can't mark up her neck like that," I say as I screw the top back on my thermos.

His eyes go wide and he swallows loudly.

"I know her brother and if he sees that, he will kill you."

Alice looks furious.

I roll my eyes at her. "What? You told me to be nice. I'm saving this kid's life."

* * *

Tuesday night the sound from the TV travels up the stairs into my room.

Renee is sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up and her chin resting on them. She is so tiny.

"You just gonna stand there or are you going to come sit with your mama?"

I wrap my robe tighter and sit one seat cushion away from her.

"The _princess bride_. Why am I not surprised?"

She doesn't even hear me as her eyes are glued to the screen.

When the ending credits roll she props her elbow up on the back of the couch, facing me with a soft smile.

"Tell me what you've been up to. You don't respond to my emails."

Why would I? "I have school."

"What's been going on with that? You were always so smart, Isabella."

"I've been offered a scholarship."

Her arms come around my neck as she squeezes me tight.

"I'm proud of you , baby."

As she sit back she turns the TV off and asks me for all the details.

"Well it's to the University of Washington—"

"How does that work it you're only a junior?"

"I have enough credits to graduate early."

She takes my hand in hers. "Oh please don't do that! Enjoy high school."

"I haven't decided yet, but it doesn't matter because I'm going to the community college.

"Why would you do that?! "

"Even with the scholarship, I can't afford school. "

"You know I will pay for it."

"I don't want your money."

"You're my daughter. It's your money too."

"I can't leave Charlie, Renee."

I jump when she slams the remote down on the glass coffee table.

She points her finger at me, the blue from the screen reflecting off of her acrylic. "Don't you dare get stuck here! Do you understand me, Isabella?"

She shakes me by the shoulders.

"You live your life! We'll—we'll figure something out, but you're going away to college, do you hear me?!"

"I hear you."

When I settle back into bed I feel guilty for the sliver of relief I feel.

* * *

On Thursday it's just Alice and I and I couldn't be more relieved. I want to like Liam, for her sake, but I just don't.

"Can I interview you for my website?" I ask.

"Yes. Yes. Yes!"

I take out her hair tie, fixing her ponytail. "You'll be the first designer I've personally interviewed."

"Well make sure you have my orange juice room temperature!"

"You'll take what you get."

"So.. since I'm doing you a favor, can you do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is…"

She looks at me at the corner of her eye. "Just have an open mind."

She blows out a big breath "I may have signed us up for a soccer scrimmage for Liam."

"What are you talking about?"

She gives me a cheesy smile. If she doesn't stop she'll be missing a tooth.

"It's a fundraiser for the team. Boys vs. girls."

"No."

"Izzy! Please! Not many people signed up, and Liam's in charge of the event. This will earn me major cool girlfriend points!"

I shake the crumbs from my binder and reapply my lipstick.

She's bouncing. I'm making her wait on purpose.

"Fine. When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Alice! I don't even have time to mentally prepare myself! How do you know I don't have plans?"

"No offense, but Edward and I are your plans 99% of the time."

Well she isn't wrong, but this short of notice?!

"You so owe me for this!" I give her the hand when she leans in for a hug.

* * *

Edward's already at his desk when I walk into Lit. His head down as he's writing a response to the warm-up, which is weird because the bell hasn't even rang.

"You'll never believe what happened! Your sister signed me up for a soccer game and she didn't even tell me. I agreed. Yes, I know.—shocking, but it's so hard for me to resist those Cullen puppy eyes!"

"It's true." He says softly.

I carry on. "They're like kryptonite, which is fitting because they're green."

"Good one." He's quiet, looking towards the classroom door, his pen against his lips.

I'm just sitting back when he starts packing his bag.

"Let's get out of here, Swan."

He's halfway across the room when I grab my bag and jog after him. He's still racing when I make it to the hallway.

"Edward, slow down"

"We're not doing anything in class today, let's just ditch."

"I –I don't ditch. I can get notes for you and meet you somewhere later." I offer.

"Hey no you're right, I'm sorry. We'll catch up tomorrow."

He just seems…off.

"Are you okay?"

He gives me a smile, but it's more for me than it is for him. "I'm great, Swan. I just need a little fresh air. Don't slack on those notes!"

And then he's gone.

* * *

I'm in Alice's backyard and we're kicking a ball around, when I hear Edward yell from the deck.

"The future isn't looking so bright for your team."

"Shut up, Edward! Izzy and I are going to slaughter –" her phone rings. "But first we have to take five to…rest our muscles! Hey baby…" She scurries off to the living room to finish her conversation.

Edward gestures for me to come up. We sit in the lawn chairs. He offers me a chilled rootbeer and I'm picking at the label when he finally says something.

"I'm sorry for being so weird today. I just needed to clear my head."

"It's not problem. I'm sorry I didn't come with you. I wanted to but…"

He waves his hand. "I know you like school. I don't want to pull you away from that."

We lapse back into silence.

"We can talk about what's going on, If you want to because you don't have to. Please don't feel pressured. It's important to only talk when you're ready, unless you don't want to talk at all, of course.

 _Shut up, Isabella._

"It was just a weird day. My grandma called, my grandma from my dad's side."

"Is she overbearing?"

"No, she just wants to see me. Alice and I were really little the last time we saw her."

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything.

He shoots for the trashcan against the wall and misses.

"I look a lot like my dad. Like scary similar and I think—" he gets up to place the bottles in the trash. "I think she likes to pretend that I'm him."

"That's very…wrong."

"I know. She invited me up for the summer…and part of me wants to go. "

"Then you should go."

He sits in front of me, grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers.

"Maybe living in the house he grew up in will explain some things. I don't think I will though. I feel like it would be cruel to my mom. I don't want her to think she wasn't enough."

"I don't think you would be sending that message at all. He is a part of you. It's natural to want to know him. "

"He died." His eyes come up to meet mine. "I don't' know if you knew that."

"I didn't, but I'm sorry. " His eyes are downcast and he's tense. He doesn't want my pity.

"I really think you should go. You're looking for something, and maybe if you go for the Summer, you'll find it," I stand up to straighten my skirt, offering him my hands to help him get up. "And as far as your mom goes, something I've learned is that taking care of other people will never fill you up."

His arms come around my waist and he puts his face in my neck.

"Thank you, Isabella."

* * *

 **Hey guys! Thank you for all of your reviews!** **This chapter we got to learn a little more about our Edward.**

 **What do we think of Alice & Liam? And what are the bases? Seriously…I've never understood what they are.**

 **I'll see you guys soon**

 **xoxo**


	7. Prunes

Edward slides a grey mug towards, a bit of hot chocolate splashing over the side.

"Thank you for the pants. I'll have them washed and returned soon."

I look down and play with the warm mug between my hands.

He shakes his head side to side. "No worries. "

"I'm so embarrassed."

"I thought it was great."

"Me falling in the mud is not great! I really thought I was getting the hang of it."

He shakes his head side to side. "Some of those kicks were so badass."

I can't help but laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You'll kick ass tomorrow, Swan. As for my sister…I'm not too sure."

Alice never did come back outside, she's probably still on the phone with Liam.

"Alice has a boyfriend." I blurt out.

"I know."

"I don't want to keep a secret like that from you. It's not right and –" then it sinks in what he said

"What do you mean you know?"

"My buddy Jasper told me. He looks out for Alice too. I honestly think he has a little crush on her."

"Well how do you feel about it? Alice having a boyfriend and all?"

"I've got my eye on him, he seems okay. Alice will tell me if something is wrong.

"Edward...she's a 15 year old girl. She's not going to tell you about her boy troubles."

"Well, she'll tell you. So you let me know if anything looks off."

"I will." I promise.

* * *

Friday at lunch I have a blonde haired guest: Jasper Whitlock.

He is wearing a tie-dye shirt, chinos, and flip flops. And he is the only guy I've seen look good with a short ponytail. He's quiet.

"Edward told me that you might need some help in calculus. I'm sorry I'm just now coming over, I've been swamped with school." _And waiting for Alice not to be here._

"Well what matters is that you're here now."

When he smiles his dimples show. He reaches for my calc binder and turns to where my bookmark is.

"Oh, derivatives are easy…pass me a pencil?"

* * *

Today I'm the one leaning against Edward's car when he walks up.

"Thanks for sending Jasper my way. Half an hour with him and suddenly things make more sense."

"Yeah he's kind of a genius. You ready for the game?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

He slings his arm over my shoulder as we start to walk down to the field. "I got money riding on this game Swan, don't let me down."

"You're kidding, right?"

In response all I get is a cheeky smile.

I would have to say that I'm decent at soccer. I stay in a safe area, doing my best to pass the ball to the more skilled girls. The only issue is that apparently these boys have never interacted with women in an athletic setting before.

Alice gets to do a throw in.

"Don't strain yourself, baby!" Liam coos.

"Fuck off!" Edward yells from the bleachers.

Alice throws, Angela dribbles, we score.

Everyone cheers and it's all grand until suddenly it seems like everyone is running towards me.

"Defense, Isabella!" Edward yells.

I make eye-contact with the other girls and we lock it up.

"Man –on" Lauren yells.

What the fuck is that? And why didn't we have a practice prior to the game?

Things get kind of crazy so I head back towards the middle of the field.

"Not today, little girl." Jake Black says as he shadows me.

Did he just call me little girl?

"Izzy!" Alice yells as she kicks the ball from the cluster by our goal towards me. I look around, praying that somebody, anyone else can take care of this, but I'm alone.

I do my best to dribble the ball towards our goal and suddenly I'm there and I'm frozen.

I should just wait for Angela, or Lauren. Maybe I can just wait…

"Go Izzy!" I hear Alice yell.

 _Aim for the corner._ I close my eyes and take the shot, which in hindsight is insane.

It's quiet, and then a monkey named Alice is on my back and squealing.

Edwards face is red as he screams and jumps in the crowd with his buddies.

I did it.

* * *

 **EPOV**

My stomach is warm. I'm outside with Jasper. He's smoking and I'm swirling.

Next to me, Isabella sips from her cup.

"What are you doing, crazy?" She asks jasper. He doesn't answer, caught up in his own world.

I steal her cup and take a swig.

"Shit!" My throat burns, but I do my best not to show it.

"Who the hell drinks straight up vodka?"

"Me, fool."

She peels off her socks, showing me her blisters.

"Those prove you've done a hard days work."

She rolls her eyes. "I won't be able to wear heels for a week."

"Damn, that's a shame," and really, it is. "What about those crocs? I think you would look good in those."

"Is the vodka turning your brain to mush, Cullen? Anyways, you better be nice to me. I'm a soccer legend in the making."

Jaspers plops down in between us, his arms over both of our shoulders as he hums.

"He's so relaxed." She comments.

Oh I know what's making him relax. I can smell it all over him.

He stands and starts to take off his clothes, I am forever thankful that he keeps his boxers on.

The water splashes over Isabella and I as Jasper jumps into the pool. Floating on his back with a smile and inviting us in.

"The water is fine, guys."

Why not? I toss my shirt to the side, get a running start, and jump in.

The usual panic sets in, but it's over in seconds.

The water is not fine; it's ice cold. I stay under so that I can get used to it, admiring the blurry lights on the side of the pool. When I resurface I hear Jasper.

"Yeah! My boy knows how to party."

"You getting in, Swan?"

"No way!"

"You're wearing workout clothes, who cares if they get ruined?"

I see her wavering. Her foot testing the water.

She goes to the railing and makes her way down the steps, gasping when the water hits her waist.

I tread in front of her. "You know you make it a million times worse doing that. Just get a running start and jump in."

She stays where she is, not sure which way would be best.

Jasper jumps out, running up the steps and picking her up as he goes.

He falls sideways into the pool, her screech muted by her submersion.

We're all floating prunes in an hour. The party is buzzing and the house is a mess and we've all got our own worries, but right here, everything is okay.

* * *

When people finally clear out we all agree to clean tomorrow afternoon…or later today. It's 4am and we're all sitting around the coffee table eating pancakes.

Jasper wanted to make them for his munchies, and who was I to stop him?

We all look crazy, but I'm pretty sure Alice gets first place, in a hot pink onesie and her hair in pigtails. Do I even want to know?

Isabella grunts as readjust Alice's top that she's wearing. It's too tight, Alice being so petite, but her options were limited after the swim.

After we're done eating and both Alice and Jasper are passed out on the living room floor, I tell Isabella I'll grab something of my mom's.

When I come back down I see she has the pancake dishes in the washer, and she's sitting next to a sleeping Alice.

She's covered Jasper and Alice with throws from the couches.

They really don't make people like her anymore.

"I got something for you, Swan."

I sleep with my back to her to make her more comfortable, but when I hear a light snore I turn to face her.

She's a mess. Hair tangled, one-eye makeup, and wearing my mom's moo moo.

But she's fucking magnificent and I want her.

 _It's too soon._

 _Leave her be._

 _Don't fuck this up._

* * *

 **A/N** **Happy Sunday, guys. Thank you for your reviews. .**

 **I want you guys to be forewarned that both Edward and Isabella will mess up sometimes…they're kids, but they'll both find their way.**

 **I'll see you guys soon.**

 **xoxoxo**


	8. Cucumbers

**BPOV**

Sunday night Renee knocks on my door softly.

"Come in."

"What are you doing, baby?"

"Homework. Sorry I didn't come down for dinner."

"That's okay. There's a plate in the stove."

"Thanks."

"I found this in the kitchen." She shows me the blue participation ribbon I got from the scrimmage.

"Oh, it must have fallen out of my bag."

"I didn't know you played soccer."

"I don't. It was this fundraiser thing for Alice's boyfriend."

"Oh…were any parents there?"

"I guess...I don't really know." She sits down and braids my hair, only to take it out again over and over.

"Renee!" Charlie calls.

She fingers her most recent braid free and stands slowly, walking the ribbon over to my desk and laying it down softly.

"Let me know next time." She pauses in my doorway. "I'm not going anywhere, baby."

 _You say that, but I see him wearing you down._

 _"_ Sure thing, mom."

* * *

Alice is unusually quiet at lunch on Monday.

As I flip through my magazine, highlighting my favorites, I hear a crinkle, and look down to see her hand getting a cucumber out of my snack bag, absentmindedly bringing it up to her mouth as she looks across the courtyard.

She spits it out as soon as she bites into it.

"Alice what the hell is going on?"

"Nothing. "

I leave it be. I'm reading about concealers when the stench of tuna assaults my nose. He's close.

"Alice, baby! Wild night Friday!"Liam shouts.

He tickles her side and she giggles, but it's forced.

Could this be the end? Could my days of tolerating Liam be over? I pray the answer is yes!

"I was hung-over the whole next day. I should've paced myself like Izzy."

He drinks out of the obnoxious gallon of water he carries with him.

"Ah, no use in being boring like her."

"Fuck off Liam." I say dryly.

"I'm kidding!"

"Well I'm not kidding when I tell you that if you say something like that again, then you can't sit here."

"I said it was a joke. Why are you such a bitch all of the time?! "

"Lay off, Liam!" Alice shouts.

"Alice, chill!"

"Stop telling me to chill!" Alice yells, looking around to see if they've drawn attention. No one really notices because at least one couple is always arguing in the courtyard every lunch.

"Alright, I'm going to head out because clearly you two are riding the crimson wave."

I don't even argue because that's how badly I want him to leave.

I go back to my magazine.

"Alice, do you think I need concealer? I have a couple of acne scars on my forehead, but are they—"

"I'm ready to break up with Liam."

"Well what's stopping you?"

Alice looks down at my magazine, bending back wrinkled corners.

"Izzy?"

"Yeah?"

"I think the biggest thing is that…that I'll miss having someone want me," She whispers.

I meet her watery green eyes. "You have to want you."

* * *

 **EPOV**

"Ouch!" I hear Isabella yell from Alice's room.

"Sorry! I'm almost done. I promise."

"You said that an hour ago," Isabella snaps.

"Beauty is pain."

They are crazy.

The doorbell rings and I head down, surprised to see a familiar face when I open the door.

"Hey Eddie!"

"Natalie..hey. What's up?"

She holds up the bag, which Alice grabs mid-twirl.

"Thanks bro."

"I took the order when I saw it was for Cullen." Natalie explains. "This was my last stop. Do you want to hang out?"

How can I say no without sounding rude? I can't, so she stays.

It's awkward to say the least.

 **BPOV**

Natalie is twelve kinds of perfect. Her red-almost orange curls fall to her shoulders. Her blue eyes lighting up when she smiles. It's clear she has a thing for Edward. She laughs at everything he says. Edward could say he needs to go to the restroom and she would still think it was hysterical.

Alice reaches her limit before I do, throwing me a look and grabbing the orange chicken.

"Izzy and I are going to finish this upstairs. We still have a lot of work to do."

"What are you guys working on?" Natalie asks.

"I'm designing dress for a competition at the mall."

"Oh that's so cute, Alice! You always seemed so excited over your little sewing projects."

I hear a low growl from Alice and I grab her wrist to pull her upstairs.

We fall onto her bed, looking up at her designer posters, the orange chicken forgotten on the dresser. "That cow is so unbelievable! She just invites herself in for dinner and then she insults me?"

"What's the story between her and Edward?"

"They hooked up last summer. A lot."

"Do you think he still likes her?"

"Did you see his face at dinner?! No way."

She leans onto her elbow, facing me.

"If someone I knew _happened_ to kinda-sorta like my brother, I would tell them they had nothing to worry about. Now let's see if we got this fit right. And for goodness sake, please get up! I did not pin your hair up only for you to ruin it twenty minutes later!"

"Yes ma'am."

I awaken to a knock and Edward rolling across Alice's wood floors in her computer chair.

"Edward!" I pull the covers up to my chest. "I'm not decent!"

He turns his back. "Sorry! It's one o' clock in the afternoon, I wanted to come check to see if you guys were alive."

"We were up really late."

"Girl things?"

"Girl things."

When I have my bra on I tell him it's safe to turn around.

"Well I was thinking that today could be a coed day. Mom said we can take her old jeep to the beach."

"Oh is she here?"

"She spent the night in the city. She sleeps above her gallery when she's too tired to drive. So you in?"

"Yeah."

"Will you two please shut up!?"

"Are you going with us, Alice?"

She sits up and rubs her eyes.

"No. I think I might talk to Liam today."

I give her a wink and I start to get ready, shooing Edward out and taking a shower.

 **EPOV**

We head out around three. I put the jeep top down

When we get to the beach we stand in the sand looking around.

"What do we do?" she asks, not comfortable with our lack of a plan.

She picks a spot for us to settle in.

We stretch on our towels.

I hear her phone buzz and hold her bag away when she reaches for it. "We are here to relax, Swan!"

"But what if it's important?"

"Come on, one day."

"One day." she repeats

"Do you want to take the tubes out?"

We float out to chest deep waters.

A wave comes and flips us. I get nervous when I resurface and I don't see her, and just when I'm about to go back under she pops up, coughing.

"You okay? What happened?"

She holds up her sunglasses as she catches her breath.

"I could have bought you another pair of heart-shaped sunglasses, Swan."

"I've had these forever. No way."

We float the day away, our heads tilted up to face the sun as it sets, and when we're flying down the road back home, she reclines her seat and stretches her arms back.

I do my best to shout over the wind, "You know, if I'm being honest, I was kind of surprised that you came today."

She pushes her sunglasses down from her forehead, her long brown hair whipping around, crazy and free for once. "I need a little sunshine to hold onto."

* * *

Lasagna for dinner tonight. Charlie has shoved his plate aside, rapidly writing on his notepad.

Tonight's the night.

"Alright Charlie, I'm going with Bella to another one of her games. Sue is here. We'll be back in a couple of hours."

"It's crazy they're making you guys play so far out," She comments. I tell her about the day at the beach I spent with Edward.

Forty-five minutes later, my breaks squeak as I pull up to the curb.

"Bella! What is going on?"

I get out of the car to get her suitcase out of the trunk and meet her on her side.

"Your flight leaves in an hour. I think I got all your things, but if I forgot something, I'm sorry."

"Bella, slow down."

"I got the ticket to Nashville, I know you mentioned that was next on your list."

"Bella—"

I grab her shoulders and crouch down to look her in the eye.

"I'm setting you free."

"I don't need you to do that. I can handle things."

"You're dying, Renee. It hasn't event been that long and I can see it, I can see everything seeping out of you."

"This is ridiculous. I'm not abandoning you."

"You're not abandoning me, you're just…going on a vacation with an undetermined return date."

Tears come fast and fat down her face. "I'm coming back, Bella. When you graduate, I'm coming back and I'll set _you_ free. You hear me, baby?"

I rest my forehead against hers. "I love you mom."

"I love you too, Bella bear."

I watch her enter the airport doors, she gets smaller and smaller as she walks to security and then I don't see her anymore, and it might be the distance, but it also might be my blurry vision.

I deep breathe all the way home, waiting to break down until I'm in the driveway.

Screaming as I hold the steering wheel, feeling disgusting as snot runs down my face and into my mouth.

* * *

 **A/N See you guys soon. Thanks for everything.**

 **xoxo**


	9. Ham and Swiss

**EPOV**

I spot Isabella through the glass doors in the library, her lips moving as she reads her laminated notes.

"Hey." I nearly jump out of my skin as Alice shoulder bumps me.

"Hey, how'd your Spanish quiz go?"

"It was okay. As usual there was something on there that my teacher didn't even review."

"I hate when that happens."

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Walk with me."

She leads me outside to the picnic table next to the grass where her and Isabella usually eat lunch ands sits down.

She pulls at the lose thread on my jacket.

"I keep getting these email notifications telling me that someone is signing into my photo account from an unfamiliar device. Would you know anything about that?"

She gives me the look that mom always gives me.

"I..I don't know how to explain without sounding like a total weirdo."

"It's simple. Look Edward, I get it. You don't have to feel weird about it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I promise not to do it anymore, I haven't in a while. I was just curious."

"Our little secret."

She slides her heart-shaped sunglasses down from her hair, they're the green version of Isabella's.

"Do you know what's up with her?"

"Not a clue," she answers.

She takes my hand in hers.

"I know you're worried, but Izzy's the type of person who has to work through things…alone."

"Everyone needs someone, Alice."

"Well maybe not everyone wants to need someone."

The bell beeps, signaling the second half of lunch, I head back inside and spot Isabella heading out of the front entrance, her long purple dress dancing around her when she makes it outside.

I hang back, not wanting to run up on her if she's leaving early.

She surprises me by heading down to the field, when I catch up she's sitting in the bleachers.

"What you doin out here, Swan?"

"Eating."

"Want some company?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

I climb up and offer her half of my ham and swiss sandwich, but she shakes her head.

"I've missed you this week,"

"I've been doing a lot of studying."

"Why? Midterms aren't for awhile."

"I like to stay ahead."

"Doesn't that get exhausting?"

"Doesn't asking so many questions get exhausting?" she snaps.

"Look, I don't know what's going on, I'm just trying to understand why you all of a sudden stopped talking to me."

Her eyes meet mine, blazing. "Well how does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Just being left, with no explanation."

"Swan—"

"Because that's what you do to those girls. You fuck them and then you get bored and you leave them in the dust, making them think that it's something they did."

Where is this coming from?

"That's not—"

"What? That's not how it is? You know, Lauren makes a new change to her appearance every week for you. Maggie took an extra trip way off her route to deliver your food just to see you. Who's next? I hear a lot of things in the locker room."

"It's casual."

"Do they know that?"

"I make it clear."

"You think you make it clear, but I think the clarity gets lost in the charm." She takes a deep breath and rolls up her lunch bag. "I would like to be alone now."

I make my way back up the hill.

 **EPOV**

"Hey!"

"Hey. Thank you for meeting me."

Lauren sits down on the bleacher, smiling big.

"I just wanted to ask you some things about us, about how I've been…if that makes sense."

"What do you want to know?"

"When we used to hook up did I make it seem like we were together?"

Lauren bites her lip. I can tell she's debating being honest.

"I guess you gave me so much attention, it was hard to think we weren't. I mean you did tell me you didn't want a relationship, but sometimes it felt like one."

"I'm sorry for that. I never wanted to play games with your feelings. I thought we were just having fun—"

"Why do you guys always do this?"

"Always do what?"

"Try to rid yourselves of guilt by pressuring girls you've hurt into saying it's all good and dandy. I'm not saying you're a bad guy, Edward, but you used me. You knew I liked you and you used that to get what you wanted."

She meets my eyes slowly. "I'm going to cut through all the bullshit. I'm not dumb, but I knew it would be easier to get you if I was playing that card. You're always buzzing, always looking for something, and I knew I wasn't it, but I wanted to have some of you, even if it was just a little bit –a little bit that didn't get me at all."

"I'm sorry, Lauren. I'm really fucking sorry." She nods, digging her cleats into the grass in front of us and letting the muddy water run into the hole.

"You're changing… in a good way. The Edward I knew in September wouldn't have really cared to talk things out with me…to give me some type of closure."

I keep my head down, not wanting to give myself away. Isabella's words keep echoing in my head and I can't resist asking.

"Did I have something to do with your hair?"

Lauren's eyes go wide, definitely not having expected this.

"I'm not looking to fluff your ego, but yes." Her smile falls as she gets serious again. "I don't think you realize how nice it is to be seen by someone like you. I missed it, so this" she gestures to her blue streaked hair, "was to maybe make you see me again."

My throat feels tight.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You have a way of making everyone feel special, Edward. That's a gift, do something good with it, alright? I've got to go. I have cheer practice in five and Lana will be up my ass if I'm late." she pops up and dusts off her skirt.

"Hey, Lauren?"

"Yeah?"

"If you're up to it, what do you think of being friends, without the benefits part?"

"I would like that."

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Isabella I said thank you."

* * *

 **BPOV**

Today me and my guest sit in silence for awhile.

I pick at the base of my bun, irritating the already tender spot, watching the sprinklers spray the field in front of us.

"I talked to Lauren yesterday." He points to the lowest bleacher row. "Right there actually and I was honest with her. I-I didn't mean to hurt her, but that doesn't matter because I did. I'm going to clean up my mess, I promise. I wanted to tell you thank you, for helping me see what I was doing to her—to them."

I fold my paper bag up into a small square. "Thank you for caring enough to do something about it."

"Are you still doing the solo lunch thing?"

"You can stay if you want."

He offers me half of his ham and swiss. Today I take it.

* * *

 **A/N Hello everyone! I hope you've all been doing well. As you've read, Edward isn't perfect, and I don't want him to be. I don't want any of my characters to be perfect but I do want them to grow.**

 **Raise your hand if you've ever been Lauren! I've never dyed my hair blue, but there was this one time when I dressed in ugly plaid button downs to impress this hipster guy I had a crush on.. I can't help but laugh when I think about it..**

 **What are some embarrassing things you guys have done to impress a crush?**

 **Thank you all so much for reading & for your wonderful words. I'll see you soon!**

 **xoxoxo**


	10. Lotus

When I close my locker Edward is there.

"You look nice today," he comments.

"I look nice everyday."

" Touché. Do you ever have a day when you're not on your game?"

Yes.

"If I did I wouldn't tell you."

He throws his arm over my shoulder as we walk towards the parking lot. "I've been meaning to tell you about my mom's art show. It's Saturday at three."

"That's nice of you to invite me, but I can't."

"I know you're more of a homebody but art shows are awesome. "'

"I would go, really, but my car isn't working."

"I can come over and take a look at it tonight."

."No!"

"Chill, Swan. I'm pretty good with cars. What's wrong with it? It won't start?"

" Don't worry about it. It's in the shop right now."

"Okay, well you can ride with me."

"Thank you."

"How are you getting home today?" he asks.

"The bus."

He stops suddenly, the gravel crunching under his feet as he turns to face me.

"You have been taking the bus?"

"Out of necessity, yes."

"How is it?"

Is he serious?

"How do you think it is?! It smells. It's crowded. I always get stuck with the window seat, and the driver always forgets my stop, even with me screeching from the back. I almost always end up having to walk half a mile back."

He sucks his lips in, doing his best not to bust out.

"Edward, I'm honestly considering investing in those heinous roller shoes just so I don't have to take the bus anymore!"

"Oh I would pay such big money to see you in those."

My glare shuts him up.

"Look, stop torturing yourself. Let me give you a ride. "

"I don't want to squish you and Alice." His two-door mustang doesn't look like it will fit the three of us comfortably.

"She's riding up with mom."

"Alright. I'll give you gas money, though."

He comes around to open my door for me.

"Don't you worry about that. "

* * *

What should I wear? Alice hasn't texted me back. Formal or informal? What kind of crowd it this?

I settle on a strapless yellow dress, with a bow around the waist and my black MK wedges. I put my studs in my ears and wear my hair up as usual. I bring a jean jacket with me just incase I need to dress it down.

I wait by the door and as soon as Edward pulls into the driveway, I'm out on the porch.

He's out and opening up the car door for me, looking fresh in boot-cut jeans and a grey button-down.

As we're merging onto the highway he comments on my outfit.

"You look nice."

"You look nice." I repeat after him.

He does look nice. Actually he looks very handsome, but if I tell him that, I'll never hear the end of it.

This show is pretty crowded, so Edward has to parallel park a ways away. His forehead crinkles as he concentrates on swinging in just right. It takes everything in me not to backseat-drive.

I'm learning to trust him.

* * *

The door to the shop is propped open and I was definitely right to bring the jean jacket.

I'm pretty sure the girl across the room is wearing yoga pants.

"My mom attracts more of a college crowd," Edward explains.

He tells me he's going to look for her and that I should take a look around.

Elizabeth's art is brilliant. I only expected ceramic art, I didn't know there would be paintings as well. When I cross into the second room it's the largest painting that steals my breath.

The toddler is Alice. She must be. With her two short pigtails sticking up. Alice's hands are raised and being held my Elizabeth's . All you see of Elizabeth are her hands.

I look down at the card under the painting:

Title: Let me guide you.

 _I painted this on Alice's 13_ _th_ _birthday_

 _I was teaching her to walk, and at first I tried to walk with my legs outside of hers for a little support, but then I realized she did better when I backed off and just let her have my hands._

 _She needed me you know, just not exactly the way I thought she did. So on her 13_ _th_ _birthday, the first birthday she wanted to spend without me, I painted this, to remind myself that she'll always need me in some kind of way._

I feel a hand on the small of my back and when I turn around I see that it's Edward, and he's brought his mother.

"Isabella, this is my mom, Elizabeth."

I turn around to see a woman who looks exactly like Alice, she has shiny, long brown hair, almost down to her waist. She looks so young, but what's most striking are her eyes, a much more vibrant green than Edward's. She's wearing a long olive green skirt and a lacy white camisole.

"I'm Isabella…well Izzy to your daughter, Alice, but Isabella to everyone else. This shop is amazing."

"The piece?" Elizabeth asks as she gestures behind me.

"Yes. It's so beautiful." I'm embarrassed when I feel my eyes start to sting.

"Oh Bella!" Elizabeth holds me tight. "How wonderful it is that you feel so deeply."

She sways us side to side patting my hair. I throw an amused smile Edward's way because he looks like he wants to die.

He pulls his mother's arm.

"Alright, ma. Let her breath."

She giggles, sounding just like Alice. "I'm sorry! Walk with me. Let me show you around. Edward, make yourself useful and find your sister."

"Fine," he grumbles.

I always thought all artists were the same, all of them thinking they had something special going on, when really they were no different from the millions of others out there.

Turns out I just hadn't met the right artist.

Elizabeth Cullen is out of this world.

She spins. She jumps. She kisses. She's so fucking alive.

We near the end of the tour and she gestures to a small sculpture.

"Has someone broken it?"

She gives me a light smile.

"Don't worry, Bella, I made it this way." It's a motorcycle, the wheels crushed, making the bike rest on a white powder. Elizabeth gives me a small smile, her hands resting on my shoulders.

"Sometimes we love deeply, thinking it's enough to make up for the absence of the love our partner should be giving us." I step forward and read the description.

Title: _The ride_

 _My ex-husband loved two things : his bike and cocaine._

She grabs my hand and leads me to the next painting.

It's a lotus.

And just by the way she looks at me, I know exactly what this means.

Edward rounds the corner and walks towards us.

"You ready to head out?"

"Yeah, sure." I hug Elizabeth." Thank you for today."

"Of course! Come back and see me soon, love. " She points a finger at Edward. "Drive safe, kid. I love you."

* * *

The ride home from the show is quiet except for the radio. When we pull into my driveway, Edward puts the car in park and turns to face me.

"It's nothing tragic, you know—the situation with my dad. I mean it's terrible, but I made peace with it a long time ago.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

He waves his hand. " I know you saw her piece. I want to tell you."

"Okay."

"My mom had kicked him out a little after Alice was born. He cornered her. He didn't hit her, but he was close, too close. She kicked him out and he went to stay with my grandparents." He looks over at me and blows out a big breath. "He overdosed there."

My stomach feels tight.

" The good thing is that I don't remember much. I was so little. I only have a couple of memories. They're mostly just me sitting on a crate in the garage watching him fix his bike."

"I'm so sorry Edward."

"That's the thing, you know? It just happened. It's fucked up, but it was him, not us. My mom loved him so hard, and he had two babies, but it wasn't enough. "

"Do you hate him?"

"I can't. It won't fix anything. What's the point in being angry? If he was here, growing up would've been crazy and I know this sounds so fucked up, but it's better this way. My mom and Alice were safe. Our family is healthy. "

He looks down and fiddles with the buttons on his shirt.

"I consider myself the man of the house and I do my best, but I don't know… I just hope I'm good. Because I really don't want to be like my fucking dad."

I put my hand on the nape of his neck, and his eyes come up to meet mine. I get as close to him as I can.

"I know I'm not always the most expressive when it comes to my personal thoughts, but I want you to know that you're good, Edward. You are so, so good. "

And then I kiss him.


	11. Flip

I feel a chill all through me as I walk to my locker. This school is always so drafty and there is no point in wearing my soaked rain jacket all day. I'm contemplating using the hand dryer in the bathroom for wet jeans when I close my locker and see the picture taped to it. I snatch it down and fold it in half, looking around to see I'm not the only one who is awkwardly trying to handle this. Most of the girls just want it down, but some of the guys are having a field day. The hoots and hollers bend around the corner of the hall, meaning that more people have arrived to their lockers and seen it.

Alice comes bouncing my way, her lips puckered. We silently agree not to talk about it as we walk towards her first period.

Unfortunately due to the rain and the library renovation, Alice and I are forced to eat lunch in the cafeteria and Edward has a team meeting in the gym. The squeak of shoes against the wet floor is driving me crazy, so Alice loans me one of her earphones.

There's a gentle click as a tray is set on our table and Rosalie takes a seat across from us.

* * *

"Room for one more?" she asks hesitantly.

We realize our silence and then we're rambling.

"Of course! "

"Yeah!"

Her shoulders sag in relief. "Thanks. I won't be a bother."

And she's not; she's so quiet. She spends the time working on a homework assignment.

I'm surprised when Alice doesn't try to talk to her, instead going back to her sketches.

She fills me in later.

Rosalie was the girl in the photos.

* * *

Edward is sitting on my desk when I walk into lit. He's doing his best not to smile, but his eyes always give him away.

"Hi."

"Hi." I mimic.

"You kissed me."

My head whips towards the door, and I'm relieved to see that no one has come in yet. The perks of being early: secret conversations are kept secret.

Standing in in front of him, my stomach flips. "Yes I did."

His eyes meet mine. "I just wanted to make sure that you didn't do it because you felt sorry for me."

"That's not why I did it."

His smile is back. "Alright. That's good."

His hand comes around to rest on my lower back. "Any idea when you'll do it again?"

I take a step back. "No idea. But there is one thing that I do know: If you don't get your ass off of my desk, I'll make sure there's a tack waiting there for you next time."

His laugh is light today, he seems light today, and it helps me breath easy.

* * *

The rain didn't return the today, but there's a sudden chill in the air that means I won't be eating outside for a couple of months.

At lunch it all goes to hell.

"Hey, Rose!"

Lana is making another unwelcomed appearance.

"How are you, doll?" Lana asks.

Rosalie keeps her eyes on her assignment. And yet all eyes are on her. The whole damn cafeteria is watching.

Lana runs her finger up and down the spine of Rose's binder.

"It's always the quiet ones! Although I do have to say that I was surprised you were so...well endowed. Hats off to –" Lana doesn't get to finish because Rosalie has her on the ground.

That's it. Lana is on the ground with wide eyes and Rosalie is kneeled over her in shock. Phones are out, ready to record a fight that never happens.

I slide my chair back and offer her my hand.

Alice grabs Rosalie's books and we all leave the cafeteria and sit along the wall in the deserted hallway.

Alice jumps up. "Fuck this! Let's ditch."

I'm relieved when Rosalie protests. "I'm not letting that bitch run me out of here."

It's quiet for awhile before she speaks again. "I sent them to my boyfriend, Emmett, and I guess he sent them around."

Alice's eyes go wide. "Emmett McCarty?! I've known him since I was little, there's no way he would do that."

"That's what I thought too. And now –" her voice catches in her throat. "now the whole school has seen them. "

I really don't know what to say, Alice has always been better with soothing, so I let her do the talking.

I've never been a violent person, but I would absolutely love to kick Lana Brown in her throat.

Rose trusted this guy Emmett. Hell, Alice did too, and then he did something this terrible?

What if I told Edward about Charlie and Renee, and he told everyone?

What makes people flip like that?

It's all that runs through my mind as Edward drives me home.

* * *

 **A/N: Trust is hard sometimes. Thanks for reading, guys. Please enjoy these last few weeks of summer. I'll see you guys soon.**


	12. Orange Mud

**Ahhh! Okay so it's been forever and I have to head out because my friends are pulling me out the door BUT I had to post this chapter because it's been so long and I finally got the chapter right and I missed this and this is such a run on sentence but okay here it is:**

* * *

The next day when I walk up to my locker, a bear is there. Well not an actual bear but this kid is huge and he's leaning against my locker.

"Can I help you?"

"You're Isabella, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm Emmett." Oh.

He holds a folded note out towards me.

"I was wondering if you could give this to my Rosie. She eats lunch at your table and-"

"You are out of your mind if you think I'm going to help you terrorize that girl. Now if you'll excuse me I need to use the locker you're blocking."

He steps aside, but doesn't leave. "Look, I know what you think. I know what she thinks, but I didn't. She won't talk to me, so I thought she might read this."

I see Edward come up from behind the bear.

He surprises me by doing some kind of hand slide thing with him.

"What's up Emmett?" Edward asks

"I was asking Isabella to give something to Rose for me." Edwards face falls and he's quick to grab the note. "We'll make sure it gets to her, man."

Emmett sags in relief. "Really?"

"I'm not doing anything for him."

"Isabella," Edward tries.

"No." I snap. "He spread pictures of her all over school. He needs to leave her alone."

"I didn't do that! I would never do that!" His voice and its desperation wraps all around us as it echoes through the hallway.

"I know. We'll make sure it gets to her, man. " Edward repeats.

Emmett starts down the hallway slowly, but then turns around, walking up to me again. My stomach twists when he looks down at me. The redness of his eyes throws me.

"I would never do that to her," he whispers and then he's gone.

* * *

"So let's say he didn't do it…"

"He didn't."

"Edward—"

"It was an accident. One of the guys on the team asked to use his phone, got into shit, and you know the rest. It's not Em's fault."

"Well how could she go back to him after this?"

He looks up at me from his homework assignment, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"It's not his fault. "

" Come on, Edward. He should've been more careful!"

He rubs his hands over his eyes. "I'm getting a headache." He closes his book, the middle of it swollen where he has jammed his highlighter.

"Yes, he should have been more careful, but the way I see it, terrible people are always going to do their terrible things, but I'm not going to let them control how I live my life. I trust people until I can't. I'm not going to live my life holding my breath.

* * *

"Guess what me and Jasper are doing this weekend!" Alice sings.

"What?"

"We are painting his room!"

"That's sounds fun and…messy."

"If it was anyone else I might care but I'm just so excited it's going to be just the two of us!"

"Are you and Jasper seeing each other?" Rose asks.

"Well no, but hopefully soon we will be! I just really want to take it slow with him."

Rose nods. "Slow is good."

"In my case yes, but in Izzy's case maybe not so much."

"You like someone?" Rose asks.

My palms start to sweat. I really didn't expect for the conversation to take this turn.

"No, I'm not. Alice is just obsessed with this idea of me and her brother."

Rose gives Alice a sympathetic look. "Oh, kind of like a Parent Trap thing?"

"Exactly."

Alice pouts and goes back to her sketches.

Halfway through lunch Rose tells us she's going to head to the library. She says it's quieter, but Alice and I know it's because the football players come into the cafeteria for the second-half of lunch.

"Hey Rose, I'll walk you. I need to stretch my legs." She gives me a questioning look but doesn't say anything. We walk in silence and when she reaches for the library door I finally say what I've been rehearsing the whole walk.

I hold out the note. "Emmett asked me to give you this." I'm not surprised by her glare. "Look, I know you're mad and you have every right to be, but I just have a feeling that in this situation everything isn't as it seems to be."

She glides the pad of her thumb over her painted index finder as she thinks. When she speaks it's in a whisper.

"I know that, you know. I know Emmett. This goes against everything he is, but I'm just so angry. I'm so fucking mad at him and I don't want to forgive him yet. I mean maybe this is my out?"

"Your out?"

For the first time her eyes meet mine and they're fire. "Yes Isabella! My out! Like no one who dates in high-school really lasts and the ones that do probably always wonder what else was out there and being in love is just so fucking amazing but also really exhausting and more scary than anything!"

"I'm a kid and the intensity of my relationship makes me so scared." I don't know what to say, so I just stand there but after a few minutes I feel the light brush of the note against my fingertips as she takes it.

* * *

After seventh, Edward walks me to my locker. "Got any plans for this fine Friday evening?"

"I need to update my blog. I am so behind!"

"Oh yeah, last post was," he scrolls for a few seconds and then gives me a mock look of disapproval. "October second! Damn Swan didn't anyone ever tell you that consistency is the key to success?"

"Says the guy who has three different instruments in his room that he's abandoned."

"Hey! I have not abandoned them. I just didn't like lessons. I'm going to be self-taught…eventually. But we're getting off track! I want you to come to my mom's art studio tonight."

"Excuse me!" the freshman whose locker he's leaning against shrieks.

"I'm sorry about that." He says with a smile, his cheeks flushed red.

"Does your mom have a show?"

"No. She is teaching a pottery class. Someone who registered said they couldn't make it so she has an opening. You in?"

When I think of pottery making, I see fingers caked with orange mud and mess, so much mess but when I look up at the boy pretending to be interested in the pictures in my locker as he waits for my answer, I find the idea of mud-caked fingers somewhat tolerable.

"I'm in."


	13. Sunflowers

I've always thought it strange how lit up downtown is. Our town is so sleepy and right now I'm sure everyone is at a party or out to dinner, but there's still no buzz, no energy. And just thirty minutes away it's a different planet. I love being here with the buzz and the energy and the light reflecting off of Isabella's face.

Since we've arrived early we float down the sidewalk. Record Stores. Yogurt Shops

"Look at those sunhats!" She shrieks as she points at the display of a new vintage boutique.

The bell chimes as we enter, and it's more cramped than I expected. The owners seemed to sell every hat imaginable.

Isabella races to the back table to try on a hat that sits on her head sideways and has a feather sticking out of it.

"Does it fit?" I ask

She gives me a worried look.

"One size fits all Edward."

"I know, but it's sideways."

"Oh! Yeah. It's 1940s, so that's the look. A statement piece, you know?"

After we leave the store, sideways hat in tow, I ask her when she'll wear it.

"Well unless I attend a royal event, probably never. I'm going to feature it on my blog."

"How's that going?"

She runs her hands from her forehead to the base of her bun to smooth down her wind blown baby-hairs. "I really need to start being more consistent."

I hold the door to mom's gallery open for her. "What's the point in stressing out about it? Isn't it just for fun?"

She starts to speak but my mother cuts her off with a hug then wraps an arm around Isabella's shoulders and leads her to the pottery room.

When class starts five minutes later, my mom begins with her introductions.

"My name is Elizabeth. I have two children, one of whom is in this class. I won't reveal who he is because he will be my little informant. He'll let me know if any of you are calling me a loon. I'm just kidding, he's right there." I raise my hand on cue. The laughs from her students break the first day ice.

My mother's white and royal blue tie-dyed skirt flows as she walks through the isles between the tables.

I look to my left at Isabella who has her head tilted to the side as she watches mom's every move.

"We will begin on the wheels. Please go to the set of wheels that has the same number as your table."

The thud of the clay being dropped on the wheels by mom gets louder as she makes her way down the line. When she's done she stands at the front of the classroom. "Your assignment today is to make something, make the clay anything other than the form it was when you received it."

Mom's assistant Jonathan knocks on the door. "Your glosses are here, E. You just gotta sign for em. "

"Wonderful! Class I will be right back."

"Glosses?" Isabella whispers to me.

"It's how we color the pottery. We can paint them or gloss them." After mom and Jonathon return with the large tubs, mom stands at the front and explains the basics.

"Find your pace. These wheels are a bit sensitive to the touch so be careful, and use the sponge to help you mold. Okay!" She claps "Let's begin!"

"Ready?" I ask

Her eyes widen and she pulls at the bottom of her shirt.

"You can go first." I add.

* * *

"Alright everyone! That concludes our first class. I will put these in the kiln and soon you will be able to paint or gloss them! See you all next week."

When everyone has filed out, Mom walks over to our station, where Isabella and I are cleaning off the wheel.

"Oh you don't have to do that, darlings. It's quite strange but a student from the local university volunteered to do it to get more hours for their internship."

"And would this student's name be Carlisle?" I ask. Already knowing.

"A student comes here to clean crusty clay? Really?"

"Yes, Isabella, but it's only because he has a major crush on her."

"Oh Edward, hush!" But mom's blush is a dead give away.

She lifts up the small cloth covering my project.

Her smile drops for only a second before she recovers.

"This is wonderful! Next time I'll show you how to use the sponge for a little more shape, Bella."

"Yeah, I told him to slow down on the wheel, but he was acting like he was driving in the Indie 500." My partner explains

"This is Edwards?"

"Yes." Isabella answers.

"This is my… son's?"

Isabella observes the strange, panicked looked my mom is giving me and tries to comfort her.

"You know lots of kids don't inherit their parent's artistic abilities, but luckily for Edward you can literally teach him how to do art."

"You're sweet, Bella. Take a peak at the glosses. Maybe get an idea of what you color you'll want for your project next week."

When Isabella is out of hearing range mom starts to speak, but she's cut off by lover boy.

"Hey Elizabeth." Carlisle says from the doorway.

"Oh hello! You can start at that station over there today." She points.

"Okay mom, we're going to head out."

"You sure you're okay to drive?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you forgot fourteen years of pottery lessons in one day, so I fear you'll forget how to operate that car of yours."

"Very funny." I kiss her on the cheek.

"Goodbye mother."

"Goodbye, sneaky boy."

* * *

 **BPOV**

I promised Alice I would come to a bonfire tonight and be her getaway after she broke up with Liam. My car is still in the "shop" so she let me drive her buggy.

I'm almost asleep, but I jump up when one of Liam's stupid teammates bangs on the window and makes a kiss face.

Disgusting.

When I check my watch I see it's been an hour.

Does it take that long to break up with someone?

The door creaks open as Alice settles in.

"I didn't break up with him. As soon as I saw him I forgot why I wanted to and if that happens, doesn't that mean that there is something there?"

I don't want to be annoyed, but I am.

"Alice, maybe this is something you should talk to your mom about."

"I know my mom seems like the follow-your-heart-type, but she's not like that. Guys hit on her all the time and she just sees right through them. I need you to help me with this!"

"Well maybe that's the point."

She looks puzzled. "huh?"

"Maybe the point is to see right through them or to look at the whole picture."

"Which is?"

"You just like being liked. That's it! And you know things with Jasper will be slow but you're just trying to get Liam to fill the time."

"No! That's not it. I really like him."

When I look at Alice –really look at her, I see a kid and right now I feel so far away from her. I never had the time to like a stupid boy and to make dumb choices. I never had the time to be blinded by immaturity.

I can't tell her to trust herself because she shouldn't. So I say it again. "I really, really think you should ask your mom. Because if I had your mom, that's what I would do."

* * *

My hands itch to get my planner out of my purse.

Go to sleep.

 _Drop off those papers._

Go to sleep.

 _Bleach the tubs._

Go to sleep

 _Get the gutters cleaned._

I lean over the edge of my bed and pull the pink scrapbook from under it.

 _My dearest Isabella,_

 _Gardening is my favorite thing in the world and you are my favorite person in the world. What greater joy could I have asked for than to get to have these two things at once?_

 _Here is a collection of our moments._

 _I love you always._

 _-Nana_

Really, I don't even have to look at the pictures. I have every detail of this scrapbook committed to memory. The last picture is my favorite. My hair is in French-braids just like hers. I remember begging her to make us twins. We are sitting next to a planted sunflower.

I push the book under the bed and settle back. I remember being angry at the funeral as they put all of the wrong flowers on her casket. The gasps as I tore them off and replaced them with my sunflower and then I whispered, "I love you too nana, always."

I dream of sun and flowers and the smoothness of the clay as it glides through my hands.

* * *

 **A/N Getting back on my Grind. See you guys soon. Thanks for reading!**


	14. Avocados

"That class is unbearable!" Edward groans as we make our way to my locker. "I don't understand how she expects the class to be engaged when she reads word for word from the slides every day."

I slip my calc binder into my bag and double check I have my planner. "I actually like it. I mean, she uploads the slides online, so it's almost like a free period."

He smirks at me and closes my locker. "What on earth do you need a free period for? You are always at least a week ahead on your assignments."

"True." I say as we start down the hall, "but I can use the period to get _two_ weeks ahead."

"Ah, Isabella, you put us all to shame!"

Once we get to the parking lot we see that the sky is clearing up. It only stopped raining thirty minutes into last period, but I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting soaked.

"So…" he starts, leaning on the passenger side door that he has opened up for me.

"Mom wants you to come over for dinner on Thursday."

"Yeah? What's on the menu?"

"She's on an avocado kick, so that's bound to make an appearance _and_ I have a feeling her boy toy might come round."

"Boy toy?"

"Remember Carlisle? Tall, blonde, eternal blusher?"

"Oh yeah! He definitely has a thing for your mom."

He's quiet for a second as he wobbles the door back and forth.

"You know what's kind of weird?" he asks

"What?"

"Jasper and Carlisle kind of look alike…kind of like mom and Alice have the same taste in men."

"It's so weird that you noticed that."

"Maybe it's a mother-daughter thing. You and your mom have the same taste? Tall, dark, handsome, green eyes?"

"Edward, shut up!" I laugh yell as I slap his shoulder.

He holds his hands up in the air innocently as he walks towards the driver's side. "Just curious, is all."

* * *

"Bella, you remember when you were little and we used to go fishing?" Charlie asks. I glance at his plate, happy to see that he's eaten almost everything.

"Of course I remember. I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

"You yelped at the smallest wave because you were scared it would flip the boat."

I smile at the memory.

He goes on, "You were the most stressed out six year old in the state of Washington when we were out on that boat. I always kind of hoped I could make you grow out of it but then…"

"I feel out of the boat because I thought I saw a mermaid." I laugh, embarrassed.

"Sure did! You swore up and down that Arielle came to say hello! " Charlie cackles, his laughs growing louder and louder until I join in.

"and nothing I could say could convince you otherwise. You made me keep that boat there until it was nearly sundown. You said 'Daddy, what if Arielle is lost?"

"And you told me Triton always knew where she was." I finished.

He taps the napkin with his index finger. "Yeah, I wish you coulda had that kiddo. I wish it was me looking out for you, instead of the other way around."

I try to meet his eyes, but they're downcast. "You have always given me everything I need, dad."

"Need." He repeats. "but I wonder if you get what you want."

"Charlie, I wanted to grow up here, and be close to you. You're my dad. I'm not missing out on anything, I promise."

"I love you, kid."

My eyes burn and I look up at the ceiling fan to keep my eyes dry. "I know, dad."

Later that night I lie awake. After I get out of bed, check my email, and pick out my outfit for school tomorrow, I tip toe down the hallway. I smile when I see Charlie knocked out. Old _Mash_ reruns playing on tv.

What would you have been, Dad?

That's the hard part – knowing that you could do so much good outside of this small, white house.

* * *

"Mom! What is _that_?!" Alice screeches as Elizabeth places a large bowl on the table.

"It's white chicken chili."

"Mom this looks so good, really, but did you happen to make a side?"

"Alice, you are not going to eat your weight in some yellow dye #58 macaroni and cheese!"

"Okay mom, first of all, it's not even yellow anymore because they took out the dye and secondly, I can't eat this!"

"Alice, I swear you always complain and then end up asking for seconds." Edward comments.

"Edward you're such a suck up! Bet mom doesn't know about your snack stash upstairs!

"Wow, really! Speaking of stashes –" Edward starts,

"Edward if you say one more word I will gouge your eye out with this spoon!" and by the way Alice is holding her spoon, I can't be sure she's joking.

Elizabeth finishes putting salad on everyone's plate as Alice and Edward continue to bicker, laughing when she catches my eye.

"You know, a lot of my friends tell me they miss when their kids were little. I don't really have that problem. I've had a pair of toddlers running around this house for sixteen years" she giggles. "Would you like some bread, Bella?"

"Yes, thank you."

Elizabeth puts her cloth napkin into her lap and takes a sip of her wine.

"Will I be seeing you in class this weekend?"

"Yes, you will. I think I'm going to use a purple glaze."

"What a great choice!" she exclaims, "is that your favorite color?"

"You know, I'm not sure I have a favorite color. It kind of changes depending on the day."

"Ok, mom! This is amazing!" Alice sighs after finally giving in and taking a bite.

"Shocking!" Edward says mockingly. He loves this. Fake annoyance is his thing because it gets his competitor worked up.

"My intern Carlisle will be assisting with the glaze class" she tells me.

"He seems nice."

"He is. And such a smart, creative student. He is having an art show at his University at the end of the semester. You should attend, Bella!

"I would love to."

As Edward and Alice finished doing the dishes, Elizabeth wraps her scarf around her neck. "I'll give you a ride home on the way to my studio, Bella"

Edward places his arm around Elizabeth's shoulders. "Mom, I can drive her."

"Is your homework done?" Elizabeth asks him.

"Yes, ma."

"Okay, then. Just make sure you don't get her back too late, and you –" she points to Alice "is that paper done?"

Alice laughs nervously. "Well…I have a very thorough outline."

"Get your backpack, kid. You're coming with me."

* * *

Edward and me share an awkward silence as we hear Elizabeth pull out of the driveway.

"Have I shown you my room?" he lets the question hang in the air for a few seconds.

"I'm going to show you my room."

As we make our way up the carpeted steps, I feel a slight flutter in my stomach.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi. Missed you. I could write a long explanation, but I feel it's better that I use this time to write more chapters for you all. I will fill you in bit by bit. If you are still here, thank you. I hope you all have a wonderful week.**


End file.
